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“Let’s play!”: Interacting with your baby
- 0-1 Years
- 1-5 Years
- Parents and Carers
- Child development and growing up
Babies have a lot to say, even if they can’t tell us with words. When they babble, smile, or turn their head, they love nothing more than someone who responds to them in an interested and excited way.
Adults can sometimes find it hard to know how to respond to babies, but by simply interacting with your young baby, you are supporting their developing brain and giving them an enjoyable experience of being in your company.
Interacting with your baby is a lot like a game of tennis - two people taking turns to “serve” and “return” a ball. These to-and-fro interactions, taking turns to communicate, can show your baby that you are interested in them, care about them, and value them.
The ideas on this page are particularly helpful when looking after babies aged 3-6 months and older.
Explore the topics on this page:
The importance of taking turns with your baby
When babies are included in back-and-forth interactions with a parent or carer who responds to what they have been doing, they learn that they are important and have an effect on the people around them. When these interactions are kind and loving, they can feel safe and content.
Regular interactions like this help towards your baby’s healthy brain development. You can do this by responding to your babies':
- facial expressions
- babbling
- gestures
By responding with your own facial expressions, babbling and gestures, you can help create new synapse connections in their brain. This helps to prepare them for playing and exploring.
It’s never too early to interact with your baby, and they will always prefer your face to a toy or a screen.
How to interact with your baby
Noticing your baby's 'serve'
Watch what catches your baby's attention. What are they interested in? What do they do? This is their “serve”.
Being attentive is more about “being with” your baby, than “doing something” for them or to them. To be attentive, watch your baby and think about what they may be thinking or feeling.
Focus on the ways they could be trying to tell you something – they might be:
- making eye contact or looking away
- smiling or grimacing
- looking away or looking towards you
- having tension in their bodies or seeming relaxed.
'Return' your baby's gestures
Encourage your baby by showing you are interested in them. You can “return” their gesture by:
- using positive words
- changing facial expressions
- changing your tone of voice
For example, you could smile at them, and name what they have just done - “Look at you, you’re wriggling your fingers!”.
Babies love looking at faces and hearing voices. Interacting with them helps you to feel connected to each other.
Keeping the interactions going
After you have interacted with them, give them time to respond to you by pausing and watching them.
These pauses help your baby to notice that they are being listened to and that their noises are important. Encourage them to make more noises over time.
Once they do something in response, you can respond again. This is called a 'serve' and 'return' conversation. You can do the same thing as last time, or something different.
This back and forth helps them to make language connections in their brain and to learn about emotions. Think about trying turn-taking with your baby. If you can make it playful, your baby will love this even more!
Allowing your baby to take a break
Babies can't hold their attention for as long as adults can. They will need breaks when interacting with you. Signals they may be becoming disinterested and need a break include:
- turning away
- arching their back
- seeming tense or disinterested
Follow their lead and show you are paying attention to them by being able to pause or stop, if needed and do something different. This teaches them that how they feel matters, and is important to you.
Responsive relationships builds strong brains | serve and return | NSPCC YouTube video
